It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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