my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
