i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
