Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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