porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
