your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
third nipple confirmed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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