it wasn't lemon gatorade
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
