Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
