That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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