8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
