He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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