Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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