can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
