I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
