let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
