Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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