Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Houston, we have a blender
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize