I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize