We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
