you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
