She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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