I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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