I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
