This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
