No stitches, just platelets and will power
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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