was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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