Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
