i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
