How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
