yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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