I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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