Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
