We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
