i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize