There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
