some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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