yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize