New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
