I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They are going to name an STD after you.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
