I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wanna passion pit in your ass
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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