i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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