Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
