Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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