cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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