Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
