i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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