Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
