Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
