I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
