Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize