It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
