he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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