Define "chronic" masturbator.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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