He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize