hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
