his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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