i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
