He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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