I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
