This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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