woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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