So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
