dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
