Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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