You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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