This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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