You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
